Taking it out of ‘Park’

My car has one of those fancy rearview mirror cameras that shows me a little live “movie” of what is happening directly behind the vehicle. If I put the car in reverse, I can see any obstacle behind me before pressing on the gas and moving backwards – helpful for backing out of a parking space before going forward down the road.

For the last five years, I feel like I’ve been “parked” at my job as a photographer/editor at InJoy Productions near Boulder, safe and secure in that nice little space within the white lines. But in April of this year, I quit that job. I started the engine, put my hands on the wheel, and began to move the vehicle. I wasn’t sure if I was backing up or moving forward, but the motion was exhilarating all the same. I rolled down the window for some fresh air and enjoyed the scenery! Now, nine months later, I’m rumbling down the road, giddy even over the bumps, and scanning the horizon to see where I want to go next.

Now that I’m on my way and a new year has begun, I have an urge to take a brief look in that handy rearview mirror. The little movie begins to play and I see both the obstacles and the opportunities of the past year:

• I resumed my freelance video business full time and moved into a shiny new office at Boulder Digital Arts. New friends and a comfortable working environment make it a great place to be, and the scheduling is all up to me!

• I’ve worked on a variety of projects this year, from military education to community film screenings (Old Town Cinema) to theatrical artistic projection (I Knew That Once). Keeping a hand in the birth videos as a contractor with InJoy is fun, too.

• In April, I became part of a four-member team creating a new, unique film festival in Boulder, the Life and Death Matters Festival (LADmatters). This consumed me for six months and the result was fabulous! We put on a successful four-day festival that inspired, motivated, and enriched hundreds of people.

• I discovered that even when people have the best intentions, things can go awry. Ego can be a strong and destructive force. People can have different sensibilities about what ‘service’ means. The dissolution of the LADmatters Festival team after our successful event was heartbreaking. The festival that we had hoped would be an annual one instead had a short, one-season life. (Perhaps the name of the festival was spot on!) That was a hard and painful obstacle, but the rearview mirror reminds me – it’s in the past!

• While some alliances fell by the wayside, others have been sparked and now flourish. I’ve found new professional partnerships and projects that keep me on the path of quality work. I’m again immersed in filming for a new documentary, which finds me spending a few hours a week in a local nursing home for mentally and physically disabled people. The experience is beyond description. (you’ll have to wait for the film!)

• A seventh year with fellow band mates in Pick Up Sticks Marimba has seen us playing better than ever and learning exciting new material. The music always relieves life’s tensions and makes me smile.

• I’m looking forward to the possibility of presenting my documentary Tumbuka Bloom at the AIDS2012 Conference in Washington, D.C. this July. It could be a reunion with my fellow filmmakers from Zimbabwe after five years!

• I see my two sons growing into fine young adults and realize that ‘parking’ myself in a comfortable spot for five years helped to give them the security and stability they needed. Now, the road stretches ahead for all of us. What a wonderful expansiveness!

It can help to look behind you before moving forward on the longer road. The little back-up camera is useful for a moment, and then it’s time to pull forward into the bigger highway of life! On to 2012!